I read a blog post today regarding parenting that really got me thinking. Parents today are do different from what I grew up with. My mother was a wonderful woman. She made sure we felt loved. She made sure we had everything needed, not everything we wanted. She worked hard to give us not only a home, but a good set of values. She instilled us with love, honor, and respect for others. She was a wonderful woman and I miss her every day.
Let me tell you what my mother didn't do. She didn't spend every waking hour watching over us. She didn't entertain us every minute of every day. She didn't do things for us, and she didn't get us out of trouble. She didn't do our homework for us, or get up to fix us something to eat every time we asked. She didn't clean our rooms for us, and she didn't buy us everything under the sun. In spite of all of this, my brother and I turned out to be upstanding, respectable members of society.
As I watch mothers with their children today I worry. I worry that we are raising a generation that won't be able to care for themselves, that don't have respect for others and their surroundings, and that won't be able to function without someone standing over them telling them what to do. Are we so worried about "parenting" that we're not teaching our children to stand on their own two feet?
When I was growing up, we left the house each morning to go to school. We walked to school, then we walked home. We had chores to do, and homework to do. We didn't have a sitter, we were latch-key kids. My mother had to work to provide for us, so we had to learn to take care of ourselves. My mother would come home. She would fix dinner, and my brother and I would fight over doing the dishes. Saturday's were for laundry and chores, but once those were done we were on our own to entertain ourselves. It was a rare treat to get to go to a movie, or skating, or to even hit up a McDonald's for dinner, and to go out to a nice sit-down, family restaurant was reserved for special occasions.
During school breaks we spent our days with our friends, running around the neighborhood. We rode our bikes, made up dance routines, and created our own games. We roller skated on the sidewalks and played in the dirt. At some point, someone who was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom would feed us bologna sandwiches and send us back out to play. We'd drink from the hose when we were thirsty and spend all day waiting on the ice cream truck music to signal it was time for an afternoon treat. We didn't get this everyday, but when mom would give us a dollar we knew right where to spend it. We knew to be within shouting distance so that when mom yelled we could run home, and if we were out after dinner we knew to make it inside before the street lights came on.
The funny thing about this? We all survived. I realize the world has changed a lot since then. We didn't have 24/7 cartoons, and a fast food restaurant on every corner. We didn't have computers, and iPads, and cell phones or video game systems like we do today. We also knew how to spell out words instead to using acronyms for everything. We could make add, subtract and make change without a calculator. We learned grammar and to write a letter with all the applicable parts. We learned to work for what we wanted, and how to figure out how to get from point A to point B. We weren't told every step of every problem we needed to solve.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is I think as parents, we need to step back. Kick the kids out in the yard to play. Sit down and enjoy a good book. Quit worrying about doing everything for your children. Let them learn to do things on their own. If we don't stop doing EVERYTHING for our children they won't learn how to do things for themselves. So many children today think that what they need to be happy is to have a lot of material things, but they don't work to get them. We, as parents, as overindulging our kids. Teach them the value of working to earn a dollar. Teach them to do their own laundry, and to entertain themselves. Teach our children what real life is going to be like so they won't be blindsided when they are in the world on their own. We already have too many adults that are in that position now, and look how well that is working out.
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