I See A Glimmer Of Light!

Have you ever come to a place in your life when you know you have to make a change?  You're at a crossroads and you can continue on the path you're on, or you can change direction.  What do you do?  Do you look at where you are and where you've been and decide you are happy with your life as it is?  Or, do you look back and think maybe you need to mix it up a bit?  Maybe you need a career change.  Maybe you need a new view out of the kitchen window.  Maybe you just need to decide to do something.  Anything.

Yesterday I was writing about depression, and how I feel like I'm in a dark place, but today,..today is different.  Today is a good day.  Today I can look out the window and see the sunlight.  Today, there is a light at the end of my tunnel.  It may be shining dimly, but it's shining.  So where does this leave me?

Starting in two weeks I will be employed again.  It's not my dream job, but it's a foot in the door. The pay is a lot less than what I was making before, but that's okay.  Nine months of unemployment has made me realize that I don't need the high paying job that I had in the past.  I just need to pay the bills.  This new job will be less stressful for me.  When I clock out, I'll be done.  No listening for those calls in the middle of the night.  No worrying that I may not meet that project deadline, or that my code will fail on "live" day.  I'm not saying my new job won't have stressful moments, but now all that stops when I clock out.  In some ways I'm disappointed about not having that high paying job and the prestige that came with it, but in other ways I'm excited.   It's time to try something new.  Who knows.  Maybe this will lead me to something great!

I've been thinking about what to do in my spare time.  I have a lot of that.  Maybe if I had come to this day sooner I wouldn't have wasted the last nine months.  I'm thinking about writing.  Not just a short story or a blog post, but a book.  I have a couple of ideas.  I'm not sure if they are great ideas, but maybe I can turn them into something and get published.  

Maybe I should pursue my photography.  I love taking pictures.  I love when people look at them and smile.  I like seeing beauty in ordinary things, or capturing a person's soul in the pictures I take.  I haven't been able to do this lately because of the darkness, but dawn is starting to break.  I want to see beauty again.

Maybe this new job is just that.  A job.  Maybe I'll have a new career in writing or photography.  I can be hopeful, at least today, because the darkness is lifting and the sun is starting to shine.  I can see a sliver of sunlight peaking through the blinds of my bedroom.  Just enough to light a small portion of my darkness, but some light none the less.  Let's hope tomorrow I can open the blinds and feel the warmth of the sun.